7.23.2009

leave the skull and crossbones on the bedroom floor.

I begin by saying my dwelling has an abundance of reading materials. For instance, right now on my coffee table are the following: Say It In French, Say It In Italian, Design Your Life, ReadyMade, Real Simple and Wired magazine. The problem is not that I never have anything to read, it's that I never have the time to read. But, with that said, I did find some time to enjoy the latest issue of Wired. I'll be honest, I seemed to be attracted to this one for some particular reason. Could it be that the picture of BP on the cover is the sexiest shot I've ever seen of this man? Not necessarily. Yes, I was allured by the squinting eyes and furrowed brow, but that freaking contraption in his ear had me furious. Why ruin what would otherwise be the perfect photo? Ahh, I took the bait. Rule No. 52: "Ditch the headset. He can barely pull it off--and you are not him." And so the adventure within the matte cover began.

The reason I'm getting into this now is that I just returned from the co-op where I noticed a girl in the line over from me. She wore a pair of white boxers designed, oh so fashionably, with skulls. On top was an over-sized plaid flannel of reds and tans, tamed by a leather wrap belt with metal studs. To top it off, a trucker hat pinned down the blonde low-hung ponytail. She was a cute girl, slim figured...but really? Just because you saw Nicole Richie or some other celeb splashed across People with a similar getup doesn't mean you should too. Do not mistake these individuals as fashionistas: Gain some common sense and become your own. Can't you see yourself in the mirror? I just couldn't imagine that she saw her reflection and thought, This outfit is killer. What's more, that was probably just her I'm-going-grocery-shopping look. My final bit of banter: The worst part about it, is that in all its misery, the "look" seemed to be thought out. It's one thing to run out of your house to the grocery store in skull boxers and a flannel because you're about to eat your own arm due to starvation, but it is quite another to consciously do so.

I leave you with some new rules you should consider applying to your everyday life routine:
  • Friend your boss. But not your boss's boss. Follow them both on Twitter.
  • Don't use a photo of your child as your profile picture.
  • Don't lie with your Facebook photo. 
  • Balance your media diet. (FYI: "Shuffle" is not a cocktail party playlist."
  • Don't Google-stalk before a first date.
Want more? Your wish is my command: How to Behave: New Rules

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